One of the biggest hinderances to erotic pleasure is the expectation of the mind.
We tend to have an idea of what we believe good sex should feel like. This might come from past experiences or things we’ve learned. But if our experiences don’t live up to these expectations or overtime our bodies respond differently, we can get the idea there is something wrong with us or something wrong with our partner.
Before I go on, it is important to note that sometimes a change in our body’s response is an indication of an underlying medical condition and if you are concerned, I recommend firstly talking with your doctor.
Outside of serious medical conditions, we can respond by;
trying new techniques, and styles of sexuality, or
if we are in a relationship, exploring how we feel towards our partners and notice if there has been a change which is limiting our pleasure.
But what if we explored a third option. That there was nothing wrong with our bodies at all. Rather our experience just wasn’t what we expected.
Practices such as yoga, tai chi, and mindfulness are growing in popularity and they all encourage awareness of the body to build a healthy and heartful connection between the mind and the body. Ideas of mindfulness teach us (amongst other things) to be in the moment, to give ourselves opportunity to notice what is actually happening rather than what we think should happen.
So how might it be if we bought that into our erotic lives? If we were to let go of self-criticism, if we slowed down and let go of expectations and gave space for sensations to move and evolve within us?
Perhaps a whole new world of pleasure would open up, beyond what we had expected was possible?